So the past few days it's been eating away at me that my son is leaving the toddler stage soon and becoming a whole big kid!! I noticed this, not because of his behavior per say, but because of the hands. You know how babies have these pudgy hands that are so tiny and full of fat, Ano's are starting to look a lot more like regular kid hands. I am really lucky that Nai Nai still has a few more years in the pudgy hands department and I am very thankful for that however, I am saddened at how I missed Ano's first year of his life.
I have mentioned it before here that I struggled with postpartum depression after Ano, and due to that I have very few memories of him being a baby. I took tones of pictures of Nai Nai in her 1st yr of life but Ano, no. I was just too wrapped up in my own guilt and frustrations that I failed to harness the floating moments of his baby years. So often as moms we are struggling with guilt and our own doubts as mothers that we end up failing to just be present and take this journey with our kids.
I say this all the that I accept my faults as a mother when I lose my temper on my kids or when I am too tired after a day of work to make them a fun, nutritious meal. There are days I literally boil some 1 minute noodles and call it a day. Ask any of my friends, they will verify this. Then there are days I get creative with everything to do with my kids, from playtime, to meals, to supporting their creativity. It's all part of the journey of being a mother! We do what we can, and we do it all with love.
So for today, I just wanted to remind all moms that remember time is fleeting and don't be too hard on yourself for the days you do miss, because your kids love you and are just glad that mama is there everyday.
I still love getting the hugs that melt your whole heart because you know they come with love!